Skip reading this if you think ignorance is bliss when it comes to processed meat products.
Guess What’s in The Picture [Foodlike Substance]
Don't let the mouth-watering title seduce you into clicking the link!
Favorite lip-smacking quote: "USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) ruled that beef could no longer be processed this way, because testing showed that parts of the bovine central nervous system ended up in the meat." Well, I'm sure that, you know, not too much of a chicken or pig central nervous system ends up in food-like processed meat products due to this method. Maybe just enough to enhance the flavor of all the delicious pork rectums.
Nummy!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The truth is bendy
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edutising
I was thinking about how people seem to make any side of a story true, if they want it to be. X is worse for you than Y because of blah and Y is worse for you than X because of other blah. So I tried it out. It's surprisingly easy to do!
This is true:
IT'S TRUE!!!
You can steal this if you want to, you sneaky anti-environmental bastards.
This is true:
Did you know that cars actually generate water when you drive them? People think cars are evil or something, but they actually create this life-giving fluid that is required by all life as we know it. Meanwhile, trees, which people think are wonderful things for our planet, literally destroy much of the water that they use, breaking down its very molecules. By driving your car, you can help restore water into the atmosphere to replace the water destroyed by trees. Not only that, but people think that trees create oxygen; they DON'T.
IT'S TRUE!!!
You can steal this if you want to, you sneaky anti-environmental bastards.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Next Season on True Blood
The following is a transcript of a montage-style preview of season 4 of True Blood.
Next season on True Blood...
What are you?
I'm a zombie!
Cut to:What are you?
I'm a zombie!
What are you?!
I'm a wizard!
Cut to:I'm a wizard!
What are you?!
I'm a Hobbit!
Cut to:I'm a Hobbit!
What are you?
I'm a Jedi Knight.
Cut to:I'm a Jedi Knight.
What are you?!
I'm a Level 20 Half-orc Dual-class Rogue/Druid.
Cut to:I'm a Level 20 Half-orc Dual-class Rogue/Druid.
What are you?!
I'm a Crystalline Entity.
...
I'm a Cyborg from the year 2029.
I'm a Were-giraffe.
I am... a normal boring human. Obviously the last of my kind.
I'm a Crystalline Entity.
...
I'm a Cyborg from the year 2029.
I'm a Were-giraffe.
I am... a normal boring human. Obviously the last of my kind.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Prelude to a God Post
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science
In a future post I will prove that god exists. The proof is pretty much the same as the proof that Santa Claus exists, which I will present here. It is a "proof by redefinition", which I am finding very useful in a world where more and more of what we experience can be shown to be subjective or relative.
Proof of the existence of Santa
First, there is evidence that Santa Claus exists. Every Christmas morning, millions of children wake up to find presents that are addressed from Santa. If you axe the parents of these kids, "From whom are these presents?", many or most will say "They're from Santa Claus."
Who then is this clearly existent Santa Claus? Every Christmas, millions of parents take on the role of Santa, buying the presents, signing his name. If you allow a definition of Santa that doesn't have to be "one person", you can call this collective group of parents "Santa". In the way that Santa matters -- bringing toys to millions of kids on Christmas Eve night -- this group of parents fits the definition. They also label themselves with this definition.
You can equally easily prove that Santa doesn't exist. If you define Santa as a magical fat human who lives at the North Pole and delivers millions of toys by sleigh, sequentially all in one night, you will not find much evidence of his existence. In fact you can easily find evidence of "impostors" (parents) planting false evidence of his existence.
And so, whether Santa exists or doesn't, or can be proven or not, depends completely on how you define "Santa". Fortunately, we're given plenty of opportunity to make such definitions. Santa is based on St. Nicolas, an apparently real human who did in fact deliver gifts individually. The idea of a flying sleigh, elves, and a North Pole toy shop are all part of a myth, built around St. Nick. The myth need not have anything to do with the actual definition of Santa. Whether you define Santa as St. Nick, or as the myth, or simply as a label to describe the role that parents take on at Christmas, is up to you.
Clearly, the same idea applies to "god". There is plenty of myth surrounding the concept of god, and we choose which myths to accept and which to ignore (Does god look human? Are there multiple gods -- a god of the sun, a god of the sea, a god of lightning?). Everyone has a different (if even just slightly) definition of the meaning of "god". Most of us are free to choose what god means to each of us as individuals, and many of us incorporate what we "think" into what we believe. And, we can choose to define god as something that clearly exists, or something that doesn't, or something that is not provable either way.
Proof of the existence of Santa
First, there is evidence that Santa Claus exists. Every Christmas morning, millions of children wake up to find presents that are addressed from Santa. If you axe the parents of these kids, "From whom are these presents?", many or most will say "They're from Santa Claus."
Who then is this clearly existent Santa Claus? Every Christmas, millions of parents take on the role of Santa, buying the presents, signing his name. If you allow a definition of Santa that doesn't have to be "one person", you can call this collective group of parents "Santa". In the way that Santa matters -- bringing toys to millions of kids on Christmas Eve night -- this group of parents fits the definition. They also label themselves with this definition.
You can equally easily prove that Santa doesn't exist. If you define Santa as a magical fat human who lives at the North Pole and delivers millions of toys by sleigh, sequentially all in one night, you will not find much evidence of his existence. In fact you can easily find evidence of "impostors" (parents) planting false evidence of his existence.
And so, whether Santa exists or doesn't, or can be proven or not, depends completely on how you define "Santa". Fortunately, we're given plenty of opportunity to make such definitions. Santa is based on St. Nicolas, an apparently real human who did in fact deliver gifts individually. The idea of a flying sleigh, elves, and a North Pole toy shop are all part of a myth, built around St. Nick. The myth need not have anything to do with the actual definition of Santa. Whether you define Santa as St. Nick, or as the myth, or simply as a label to describe the role that parents take on at Christmas, is up to you.
Clearly, the same idea applies to "god". There is plenty of myth surrounding the concept of god, and we choose which myths to accept and which to ignore (Does god look human? Are there multiple gods -- a god of the sun, a god of the sea, a god of lightning?). Everyone has a different (if even just slightly) definition of the meaning of "god". Most of us are free to choose what god means to each of us as individuals, and many of us incorporate what we "think" into what we believe. And, we can choose to define god as something that clearly exists, or something that doesn't, or something that is not provable either way.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
This week in news
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news
RIAA Sues LimeWire for $1.5 Trillion
In what seems like a sad and ill-timed April Fool's joke, RIAA is asking for $750 for each song downloaded through LimeWire.
RIAA Sues Radio Signal Receivers for $10 Trillion
People who are subjected to radio signals have been getting a free ride, according to RIAA. "Radio stations are playing music that we own, and whether someone is listening to that song on an album that was purchased in a store, or if radio waves carrying that song pass harmlessly through their head, it makes no difference to us... we are still owed money for that song." RIAA is asking for $750 for each song that is played on a radio station, for each person within the range of that station.
RIAA Sues Pet-Owners for $250 Trillion
RIAA claims that pet-owners are not living up to their contractual agreements. "When you purchase an album, you are purchasing a license to listen to that album, as an individual. Pet-owners tend to have their pets around when they listen to music. The owners typically don't realize that they are required to purchase an additional copy of an album for each pet that consumes our product."
RIAA has also stated that they may be introducing new licensing agreements that require customers to buy a second copy of an album if they listen to it more than 5 times.
RIAA Sues India, China for $5.5 Quadrillion
RIAA has stated that consumers in India and China are not buying enough albums, which they are calling "Theft of potential profits". By their calculations, each person should be pulling their weight and buying enough albums for a collection of approximately 250 albums each, roughly the average for UK album owners. At an average of 12 songs per album, and at $750 per song (the magic number that RIAA says each un-purchased potential song costs them), the bill comes to $2.25 million per person. With around 2.5 billion people in the 2 countries, the total amounts to over $5,545 trillion. "Luckily, with such large numbers, the theft of our potential profits is a very serious crime in these countries, and may even carry the death penalty as a punishment, which we think will really encourage people to pay up what they owe us."
RIAA Sues Earth for $3.3 Quintillion
"Frankly, we're just used to pulling ridiculously inflated numbers out of our asses and telling people they owe us that. The number we came up with, and it's an exciting one, is $500,000,000, from each person on the planet. And, we'd like to have that money, so we think we deserve it."
In what seems like a sad and ill-timed April Fool's joke, RIAA is asking for $750 for each song downloaded through LimeWire.
RIAA Sues Radio Signal Receivers for $10 Trillion
People who are subjected to radio signals have been getting a free ride, according to RIAA. "Radio stations are playing music that we own, and whether someone is listening to that song on an album that was purchased in a store, or if radio waves carrying that song pass harmlessly through their head, it makes no difference to us... we are still owed money for that song." RIAA is asking for $750 for each song that is played on a radio station, for each person within the range of that station.
RIAA Sues Pet-Owners for $250 Trillion
RIAA claims that pet-owners are not living up to their contractual agreements. "When you purchase an album, you are purchasing a license to listen to that album, as an individual. Pet-owners tend to have their pets around when they listen to music. The owners typically don't realize that they are required to purchase an additional copy of an album for each pet that consumes our product."
RIAA has also stated that they may be introducing new licensing agreements that require customers to buy a second copy of an album if they listen to it more than 5 times.
RIAA Sues India, China for $5.5 Quadrillion
RIAA has stated that consumers in India and China are not buying enough albums, which they are calling "Theft of potential profits". By their calculations, each person should be pulling their weight and buying enough albums for a collection of approximately 250 albums each, roughly the average for UK album owners. At an average of 12 songs per album, and at $750 per song (the magic number that RIAA says each un-purchased potential song costs them), the bill comes to $2.25 million per person. With around 2.5 billion people in the 2 countries, the total amounts to over $5,545 trillion. "Luckily, with such large numbers, the theft of our potential profits is a very serious crime in these countries, and may even carry the death penalty as a punishment, which we think will really encourage people to pay up what they owe us."
RIAA Sues Earth for $3.3 Quintillion
"Frankly, we're just used to pulling ridiculously inflated numbers out of our asses and telling people they owe us that. The number we came up with, and it's an exciting one, is $500,000,000, from each person on the planet. And, we'd like to have that money, so we think we deserve it."
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Corruption is why we win.
A Deepwater BP oil spill conspiracy theory.
BP is struggling like a fumbling moron to contain the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. From the information we get, after being passed through the filters of PR departments and corporate news organizations, we get the impression that they are incompetent idiots who don't know what they are doing. But there's a lot of money involved in this thing, and chances are that quite a few very smart people are being paid a lot to think about this problem. Chances are they know what they're doing a lot more than we do, and a lot more than we're being told.
Here is the story that we see, based on what we're told, and what we assume:
1. It is in everyone's best interest that this oil spill be stopped as soon as possible. It is especially in BP's interest, because they're the most directly financially impacted by it, and they're the ones who look bad as it drags on.
2. It's good that BP is taking responsibility for dealing with the leak. They're responsible for causing it; they should be responsible for stopping it. Let them do it, because it's only costing them money, which is better than having someone else pay to deal with their problem.
3. They are struggling and failing to contain this leak, which means that it is a very hard problem and they're in way over their heads.
4. The government is on the same page as BP and everyone else.
Here is another version of the story. This one is again based only on news and assumptions. To be clear, what is proposed here is indeed a speculative conspiracy theory.
1. BP is not in the business of environmental preservation and recovery. They didn't immediately switch from a company whose goal is to make money from oil, to a company whose (temporary) goal is only to save the environment. As a corporation, they are still legally required to make as much money as possible for their investors. Having a company that makes money by exploiting the environment, in charge of an environmental rescue operation, doesn't seem all that smart.
We let this pass, because we confuse the multiple meanings of the word "responsible." Yes, we think, BP should be responsible for this because why should someone else pay for it? So if BP says they will handle it, we step out of the way and hold the door open for them. But being responsible for it also means being in charge, and doing it their way. We let them have total control, because stepping in on this will cost money.
2. Stopping the oil leak as quickly as possible is not in everyone's best interests. Yes BP wants to look as good as they can in this situation, but they have a lot of different people to look good for. First and foremost are the investors. Nothing would look better to the investors than coming up with a way to get out of this disaster while still turning a profit on it. Secondly there are government regulators. BP must look good enough to the government so that they're not fined, sued, or face changes in policy that make it harder to do their business. Third are average people. Unfortunately, we only matter insomuch as we can affect those in groups 1 and 2. It should be no surprise, that amounts to very little. Fourth and last are the sea creatures directly affected by the spill. Clearly, those most affected by the environmental aspects of the disaster, are of the least concern for BP. This is not an environmental rescue operation; it is an oil and profits rescue operation. Stopping the leak as quickly as possible is secondary to doing it as profitably as possible.
3. BP has a cap on what they can be charged for in terms of environmental damage. They probably blew through this upper limit on the first day of the leak. That means that as far as they're concerned, given 2 possible solutions to dealing with the leak, the environmental cost of each simply does not factor in. Stupidly, everyone has stood aside and said "Your problem, not mine!"… but in doing so, our environmental problem slipped through the cracks and became just an economic problem, and we didn't even see it happen.
I don't think that BP has any further legal responsibility to fix this mess as quickly or best as they can. Whether they fix it tomorrow, or take a year, they've already reached the limit of what they're legally liable for. However, they still have a legal responsibility as a corporation, to fix this mess as profitably as they can. That means, if they can find a way that involves continuing to pump oil out, they will choose that over a way that involves blocking up the well.
We may think that the cost of the lost oil is a major factor, but I don't think it is. As far as economics goes, this oil field is essentially limitless. BP would be able to pump oil out of it for much longer than it matters. The well running dry is a problem for future investors, not today's. What matters today is time and flow, because any time spent not pumping out the most oil that you can handle, is money wasted. So a solution that involves stopping the flow of oil, keeping it intact for future recovery, yet delaying when that can happen, is an unfavorable solution.
And so, we don't see the best solutions being tried first. We see instead the quickest, cheapest solutions that would allow the oil to keep flowing, regardless of how how unreliable they may be.
With things like "relief wells" being drilled to relieve pressure, I wouldn't be surprised if when BP finally regains control of the oil from this well, we are told that they must maintain a much higher flow rate than would otherwise be allowed, "in order to prevent additional catastrophes".
4. If true, this suggests that BP is pulling the wool over government's eyes. But like BP, the government has a lot of smart people, and like with BP, there is a lot of money at stake for the government. Obama states that he will not rest until the flow of oil is stopped. And yet BP is given free reign to attempt oil containment schemes that don't involve stopping the oil at all.
Like corporations, governments have multiple people that they must cater to. There are of course the people, and there are corporations, and there is also themselves. This means balancing doing the right thing, doing the wrong thing, and trying to look good while doing it. Obama can't attack BP yet, and say "You're doing it wrong", because then he not only ignores the oil industry's interests, he also enters a costly battle against them.
The government must try to balance doing what's best for the environment, letting corporations have their way, and making it look like they did the best they can. They need BP to get the well under control, because no one else is willing to cover that cost. It is too late in the middle of a crisis to change policy and agitate anyone. Instead, governments tend to wait until crises are averted, and only then launch investigations into "what went wrong". New policies will be introduced "to ensure that this will never happen again". These are token policies that will satisfy some, but won't stop the innovativeness of industry from cutting corners to get around them. No, new policies are not meant to slow industry to prevent future disasters, they're the illusion of due diligence in dealing with the last disaster. All part of the cleanup.
Ironically, the worst things that we see happening with this disaster, are probably mostly technically legal.
So we will see BP fumble around for awhile. They'll come up with a solution that, miraculously, forces them to keep churning out profits. Then there will be a long period of studies on the impact of the disaster, and there will be debates on various internet forums, and there will be little news. Back to normal for the oil industry, for the suffering Gulf coast, for the dying sea, and for the world.
BP is struggling like a fumbling moron to contain the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. From the information we get, after being passed through the filters of PR departments and corporate news organizations, we get the impression that they are incompetent idiots who don't know what they are doing. But there's a lot of money involved in this thing, and chances are that quite a few very smart people are being paid a lot to think about this problem. Chances are they know what they're doing a lot more than we do, and a lot more than we're being told.
Here is the story that we see, based on what we're told, and what we assume:
1. It is in everyone's best interest that this oil spill be stopped as soon as possible. It is especially in BP's interest, because they're the most directly financially impacted by it, and they're the ones who look bad as it drags on.
2. It's good that BP is taking responsibility for dealing with the leak. They're responsible for causing it; they should be responsible for stopping it. Let them do it, because it's only costing them money, which is better than having someone else pay to deal with their problem.
3. They are struggling and failing to contain this leak, which means that it is a very hard problem and they're in way over their heads.
4. The government is on the same page as BP and everyone else.
Here is another version of the story. This one is again based only on news and assumptions. To be clear, what is proposed here is indeed a speculative conspiracy theory.
1. BP is not in the business of environmental preservation and recovery. They didn't immediately switch from a company whose goal is to make money from oil, to a company whose (temporary) goal is only to save the environment. As a corporation, they are still legally required to make as much money as possible for their investors. Having a company that makes money by exploiting the environment, in charge of an environmental rescue operation, doesn't seem all that smart.
We let this pass, because we confuse the multiple meanings of the word "responsible." Yes, we think, BP should be responsible for this because why should someone else pay for it? So if BP says they will handle it, we step out of the way and hold the door open for them. But being responsible for it also means being in charge, and doing it their way. We let them have total control, because stepping in on this will cost money.
2. Stopping the oil leak as quickly as possible is not in everyone's best interests. Yes BP wants to look as good as they can in this situation, but they have a lot of different people to look good for. First and foremost are the investors. Nothing would look better to the investors than coming up with a way to get out of this disaster while still turning a profit on it. Secondly there are government regulators. BP must look good enough to the government so that they're not fined, sued, or face changes in policy that make it harder to do their business. Third are average people. Unfortunately, we only matter insomuch as we can affect those in groups 1 and 2. It should be no surprise, that amounts to very little. Fourth and last are the sea creatures directly affected by the spill. Clearly, those most affected by the environmental aspects of the disaster, are of the least concern for BP. This is not an environmental rescue operation; it is an oil and profits rescue operation. Stopping the leak as quickly as possible is secondary to doing it as profitably as possible.
3. BP has a cap on what they can be charged for in terms of environmental damage. They probably blew through this upper limit on the first day of the leak. That means that as far as they're concerned, given 2 possible solutions to dealing with the leak, the environmental cost of each simply does not factor in. Stupidly, everyone has stood aside and said "Your problem, not mine!"… but in doing so, our environmental problem slipped through the cracks and became just an economic problem, and we didn't even see it happen.
I don't think that BP has any further legal responsibility to fix this mess as quickly or best as they can. Whether they fix it tomorrow, or take a year, they've already reached the limit of what they're legally liable for. However, they still have a legal responsibility as a corporation, to fix this mess as profitably as they can. That means, if they can find a way that involves continuing to pump oil out, they will choose that over a way that involves blocking up the well.
We may think that the cost of the lost oil is a major factor, but I don't think it is. As far as economics goes, this oil field is essentially limitless. BP would be able to pump oil out of it for much longer than it matters. The well running dry is a problem for future investors, not today's. What matters today is time and flow, because any time spent not pumping out the most oil that you can handle, is money wasted. So a solution that involves stopping the flow of oil, keeping it intact for future recovery, yet delaying when that can happen, is an unfavorable solution.
And so, we don't see the best solutions being tried first. We see instead the quickest, cheapest solutions that would allow the oil to keep flowing, regardless of how how unreliable they may be.
With things like "relief wells" being drilled to relieve pressure, I wouldn't be surprised if when BP finally regains control of the oil from this well, we are told that they must maintain a much higher flow rate than would otherwise be allowed, "in order to prevent additional catastrophes".
4. If true, this suggests that BP is pulling the wool over government's eyes. But like BP, the government has a lot of smart people, and like with BP, there is a lot of money at stake for the government. Obama states that he will not rest until the flow of oil is stopped. And yet BP is given free reign to attempt oil containment schemes that don't involve stopping the oil at all.
Like corporations, governments have multiple people that they must cater to. There are of course the people, and there are corporations, and there is also themselves. This means balancing doing the right thing, doing the wrong thing, and trying to look good while doing it. Obama can't attack BP yet, and say "You're doing it wrong", because then he not only ignores the oil industry's interests, he also enters a costly battle against them.
The government must try to balance doing what's best for the environment, letting corporations have their way, and making it look like they did the best they can. They need BP to get the well under control, because no one else is willing to cover that cost. It is too late in the middle of a crisis to change policy and agitate anyone. Instead, governments tend to wait until crises are averted, and only then launch investigations into "what went wrong". New policies will be introduced "to ensure that this will never happen again". These are token policies that will satisfy some, but won't stop the innovativeness of industry from cutting corners to get around them. No, new policies are not meant to slow industry to prevent future disasters, they're the illusion of due diligence in dealing with the last disaster. All part of the cleanup.
Ironically, the worst things that we see happening with this disaster, are probably mostly technically legal.
So we will see BP fumble around for awhile. They'll come up with a solution that, miraculously, forces them to keep churning out profits. Then there will be a long period of studies on the impact of the disaster, and there will be debates on various internet forums, and there will be little news. Back to normal for the oil industry, for the suffering Gulf coast, for the dying sea, and for the world.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Lost fan fiction (with spoilers)
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Labels:
things
I really like the writing style of Across the Sea. I was inspired to write my own script, which covers the events of that episode and goes on to explain other mysteries of the show.
Act II, Scene I:
Adam: What's down there?
Mother: Light. The warmest, brightest light you've ever seen or felt.
Adam: It's beautiful.
Mother: Yes it is. It's the most beautiful light you've ever sensed. It's twice as yellow as any color you've ever known, and it buzzes louder than any light you've ever heard.
Jacob: Smells kinda like marshmallows!
Mother: It's the most marshmallowy light you've ever tasted. And that's why they want it.
Jacob: What's down there?
Mother: Life. Death. Rebirth. Infinity. Abstract concepts. Riddles, and double-speak. A one-sided slice of ham. A piece of buttered toast, strapped to the back of a cat.
… Also, some treasure.
… There's a bit of that light in all midi-chlorians. Men want it because it's super useful and junk. Just a bucket-full of this light, maybe attached to something like i don't know, a big wooden wheel or something… that could power a hundred clock-radios for over a week. And it's super warm! But the men would use it for very bad, very dangerous things. All sorts of crazy stuff.
Jacob: What do people want to do with it?
Mother: Very powerful and very dangerous, but very very vague and very unspecified things.
Things like what?
- Things that are not meant to be controlled by men.
Wow! Like what?!
- Things that are very mysterious, and totally, totally weird.
Things like what? Can you give me some straightforward answers?
- No… It's not time yet. There are still 2 more episodes.
Mother: You're special. Some people who are special can bend their thumb back and touch their arm with it. Others who are special are good at math or playing the violin or stacking cups really quickly. Your brother's special. He doesn't know how to lie or to tie his shoes. And in other ways, you're also special. Like how you turn into smoke and pick up people and smash them against rocks and stuff.
Adam: I'm special? Is that why I can possess dead people and get blowed up without being hurt and junk?
Mother: Yes. That's because you're special.
Adam: But how did we get here? Where did you come from?
Mother: I came from people who came before me.
Adam: But why can people travel through time?
Mother: Because that's the way that it had to be.
Adam: But why does the island move?
- Because why not.
Then why…
- Because it became like that.
But why did...
- Because of the rules.
But…
- Because it just is.
But you're not even...
- Because I said so?
But it just doesn't make sense! Nothing makes sense! Why is there so much weird stuff always going on?
- Because I made it so it was that way, and also that's how the island wants it, and also that's how it's supposed to be.
Adam: [After a long pause] Well I think we can all be adequately satisfied by those reasonable explanations, thanks.
His name is… Jacob.
Look! There's another one!
It's another boy.
Hmmm, I think… I will call him…
Monster.
Smoke Monster.
Act II, Scene I:
Adam: What's down there?
Mother: Light. The warmest, brightest light you've ever seen or felt.
Adam: It's beautiful.
Mother: Yes it is. It's the most beautiful light you've ever sensed. It's twice as yellow as any color you've ever known, and it buzzes louder than any light you've ever heard.
Jacob: Smells kinda like marshmallows!
Mother: It's the most marshmallowy light you've ever tasted. And that's why they want it.
Jacob: What's down there?
Mother: Life. Death. Rebirth. Infinity. Abstract concepts. Riddles, and double-speak. A one-sided slice of ham. A piece of buttered toast, strapped to the back of a cat.
… Also, some treasure.
… There's a bit of that light in all midi-chlorians. Men want it because it's super useful and junk. Just a bucket-full of this light, maybe attached to something like i don't know, a big wooden wheel or something… that could power a hundred clock-radios for over a week. And it's super warm! But the men would use it for very bad, very dangerous things. All sorts of crazy stuff.
Jacob: What do people want to do with it?
Mother: Very powerful and very dangerous, but very very vague and very unspecified things.
Things like what?
- Things that are not meant to be controlled by men.
Wow! Like what?!
- Things that are very mysterious, and totally, totally weird.
Things like what? Can you give me some straightforward answers?
- No… It's not time yet. There are still 2 more episodes.
Mother: You're special. Some people who are special can bend their thumb back and touch their arm with it. Others who are special are good at math or playing the violin or stacking cups really quickly. Your brother's special. He doesn't know how to lie or to tie his shoes. And in other ways, you're also special. Like how you turn into smoke and pick up people and smash them against rocks and stuff.
Adam: I'm special? Is that why I can possess dead people and get blowed up without being hurt and junk?
Mother: Yes. That's because you're special.
Adam: But how did we get here? Where did you come from?
Mother: I came from people who came before me.
Adam: But why can people travel through time?
Mother: Because that's the way that it had to be.
Adam: But why does the island move?
- Because why not.
Then why…
- Because it became like that.
But why did...
- Because of the rules.
But…
- Because it just is.
But you're not even...
- Because I said so?
But it just doesn't make sense! Nothing makes sense! Why is there so much weird stuff always going on?
- Because I made it so it was that way, and also that's how the island wants it, and also that's how it's supposed to be.
Adam: [After a long pause] Well I think we can all be adequately satisfied by those reasonable explanations, thanks.
His name is… Jacob.
Look! There's another one!
It's another boy.
Hmmm, I think… I will call him…
Monster.
Smoke Monster.
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