I can't hear ya. I say what's cooler than bein' cool?

Edmonton has now entered its period of polar night. We won't see the sun come up again until maybe February.

These days the temperature dips so low that our furnaces stop working. We try desperately to get them started again by shoving wads of newspapers into the coals, only to watch in desolation as the flames freeze into ice crystals right before our eyes, and turn to a cool dim blue light before fading out and falling from the air, shattering with a tinkle. Food is scarce as most of it has by now congealed into Bose–Einstein condensates, and has been rendered inedible.

Our only refuge is to crawl into the relative warmth and safety of our refrigerators, and try to balance shivering to stay warm, with staying completely still to conserve energy. Then we wait it out there until spring.