Canada's embattled sealing industry has been suffering these past few years, bleeding like a dead bag of meat left out on the snow (Photo Gallery with the Huff Post story).
Some conservative MPs are lending their support this year by participating in the seal hunt. MPs donned clubs and enthusiastic smiles as they paused for photo ops in between manic sessions of bashing in the brains of some cute baby seals.
"It's a lot of fun," said one MP, catching his breath and wiping some spattered blood from his lips. "Maybe we could expand the industry with an adventure-tourism aspect. I think that for many people, if they had a chance to bash in the face of one of the little critters, they wouldn't have such negative feelings towards it."
The MPs pinned dead seals to their lapels. "It's quite patriotic, I think, almost like a Canadian flag really. All that red and white."
One of the MPs held out a baby seal carcass to members of the press, offering it for sale. When there were no takers, the MP remarked "Well that's certainly odd. The market for dead seals is actually quite healthy."
Showing posts with label theruttabaga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label theruttabaga. Show all posts
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Stephen Harper resurrects War on Terror for 9/11 anniversary
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The Conservative government will reintroduce controversial anti-terrorism measures that were allowed to expire amid privacy concerns and Charter rights complaints, Prime Minister Stephen Harper confirmed to The Post Picayune Tuesday.
In celebration of the tenth anniversary of 9/11, Harper plans to help everyone remember and relive the days of racist fear-mongering, unjust persecution, and suppression of human rights that we all enjoyed over the past decade.
"We must look back to 9/11 and remember all that we've lost," the Prime Minister said, pausing to wipe a tear from his eye. "We've really lost a lot of government power these past few years. We used to be able to lock up people just for saying the wrong thing or having a 'foreigney' name. We used live in constant fear of our neighbors. Our fears kept us safe... they kept us wanting to be safe. We must never forget, never get complacent and let ourselves idly enjoy a life without totalitarian government power over the people. Without its protection and it making us do what's best for it and for this country, just imagine what a scary world that would be! We must remember the fear, and the hatred. Terrorism strikes right when you least expect it, and if you're not being vigilant by constantly living in terror, that's when terror will get you."
In what will surely go down in history as a great address of the nation, Harper said "The only thing we have to fear is... terror!, terror!, terror!!! And Islamicism, which as you all know is worse than Islam, Islamics, and even Islamism. We cannot sleep peacefully until the Islamicists are all hidden away in a secret prison and preferably tortured a little for good measure."
The Prime Minister later commented on his uncharacteristically emotional display during the speech. "I just think back to 9/11 and can't help feeling sad. I really miss those days. I really do."
In celebration of the tenth anniversary of 9/11, Harper plans to help everyone remember and relive the days of racist fear-mongering, unjust persecution, and suppression of human rights that we all enjoyed over the past decade.
"We must look back to 9/11 and remember all that we've lost," the Prime Minister said, pausing to wipe a tear from his eye. "We've really lost a lot of government power these past few years. We used to be able to lock up people just for saying the wrong thing or having a 'foreigney' name. We used live in constant fear of our neighbors. Our fears kept us safe... they kept us wanting to be safe. We must never forget, never get complacent and let ourselves idly enjoy a life without totalitarian government power over the people. Without its protection and it making us do what's best for it and for this country, just imagine what a scary world that would be! We must remember the fear, and the hatred. Terrorism strikes right when you least expect it, and if you're not being vigilant by constantly living in terror, that's when terror will get you."
In what will surely go down in history as a great address of the nation, Harper said "The only thing we have to fear is... terror!, terror!, terror!!! And Islamicism, which as you all know is worse than Islam, Islamics, and even Islamism. We cannot sleep peacefully until the Islamicists are all hidden away in a secret prison and preferably tortured a little for good measure."
The Prime Minister later commented on his uncharacteristically emotional display during the speech. "I just think back to 9/11 and can't help feeling sad. I really miss those days. I really do."
Thursday, February 10, 2011
New oil extraction technique delays peak oil
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Advances in "mountaintop removal coal mining" technology have been harnessed by the oil industry to tap into reserves that were previously inaccessible.
Oil engineers briefed The Post Picayune on how the technique works.
"Basically, you take a continent, pump water, sand and chemicals into it to crack it, then you grind the whole thing up. You just mix up the shit out of all the ground until it's all a big muddy goop. Then you wait till all the oil seeps up to the surface, get a bit straw, suck it up, t'row dat in yer gas tank, and yer drivin!"
Oil executives estimate that the new technique could provide upwards of 200 barrels of precious, precious oil per day for several months, by tapping just one moderately sized continent.
"Of course we're really looking at processing two or three continents, to really leverage the technology. For starters."
Environmental groups are calling the technique "environmentally questionable".
Read more about this story at: http://www.theoildrum.com/node/7469
Oil engineers briefed The Post Picayune on how the technique works.
"Basically, you take a continent, pump water, sand and chemicals into it to crack it, then you grind the whole thing up. You just mix up the shit out of all the ground until it's all a big muddy goop. Then you wait till all the oil seeps up to the surface, get a bit straw, suck it up, t'row dat in yer gas tank, and yer drivin!"
Oil executives estimate that the new technique could provide upwards of 200 barrels of precious, precious oil per day for several months, by tapping just one moderately sized continent.
"Of course we're really looking at processing two or three continents, to really leverage the technology. For starters."
Environmental groups are calling the technique "environmentally questionable".
Read more about this story at: http://www.theoildrum.com/node/7469
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